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If you’ve ever attended a funeral, you might have gone to a family member’s house after the service for refreshments and conversation.
This get-together is known as a reception (or repast), and it’s a common feature of most funeral services and memorials. The reception is not only an opportunity to connect with others who are grieving. It’s also a more casual time to reminisce and celebrate the life of the deceased. Research shows that this kind of sharing can help you and others cope better with the loss of your loved one.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- Checklist for Planning a Funeral Reception
- Checklist of Considerations for Planning a Funeral Reception During COVID-19
If you’re in charge of planning a loved one’s funeral reception, you might not know where to begin. Most of us don’t plan many receptions throughout our lives. Unlike holiday dinners and birthdays, they aren’t a yearly occurrence, and our family and friends might not know how to go about it, either.
So to help you plan the best possible funeral reception for your loved one, we’ve put together an easy-to-follow checklist below.
Checklist for Planning a Funeral Reception
As you’re planning the funeral reception, remember that your goal is to bring people together (whether in person or virtually).
A funeral reception doesn’t need to include activities, an impressive menu, or any type of entertainment. The focus should be on each other’s company and on remembering the departed.
So with that in mind, here are the things you’ll need to check off your list as you’re planning a funeral reception.
1. Choose the location
First, you’ll need to decide where you want to hold the reception. This depends on the number of people you’re inviting, as well as the accessibility of venues in your area.
You can hold the reception:
- In your home or a family member’s home. This is ideal if you’re inviting a small number of guests, and you’re comfortable with the idea. An at-home funeral reception lends a feeling of comfort and intimacy to the gathering.
- At the funeral home. Many funeral homes have a space for receptions. This can work if you’re hosting a larger number of guests or inviting everyone at the funeral to the reception. But the gathering can feel more formal, and people might not stick around very long.
- At a church or community venue. If the funeral is taking place at a church or a public venue, you may have everyone return there after the burial for the reception. Many churches have more intimate spaces for such events.
- At a restaurant. This negates the need to hire catering or ask people to cook potluck items.
- At a park. Weather permitting, you can have a picnic-style reception outdoors.
If you’re not sure where to hold your funeral reception, speak with your funeral director. They have a wealth of experience when it comes to planning funeral services and repasts, and they can help you make the best choice.
2. Choose a time
Most funeral receptions are held immediately after the funeral and burial. But you can also have it later in the day or even a few days later. If you have guests traveling to the funeral from out of town, it’s best to have the reception on the same day as the service.
Some families hold a larger reception after the funeral and a smaller one the next day or at a later date for only close family members.
3. Decide how to invite your guests
If you’re inviting everyone at the funeral to the reception, you can simply make an announcement after the service. You’ll need to provide your address and some directions to your home or the venue.
If you want to invite only a select number of people from the service, you’ll need to mail or discreetly hand out invitations to the reception. You can also send out the invitations as an email.
4. Create invitations
If you’re sending or handing out invitations, include the following information:
- Name of the deceased person.
- Their date of birth and date of death.
- An invitation to attend the reception.
- The date and time of the reception.
- The location (it’s helpful to include a map image).
- RSVP (if you send out the invitations well ahead of time).
If you need some guidance wording the invitation, read our guide on funeral reception invitation wording.
5. Provide refreshments
You don’t need to serve a full meal at a funeral reception. But most receptions include some kind of refreshments.
You may choose to provide all of the food and drinks yourself, or you may ask other family members and friends to help. You could also have the reception catered, especially if you’re holding it at the funeral home or a public venue.
6. Create a welcoming environment
If you’re hosting the reception at home, you should try and make the space as welcoming for guests as possible. Make sure there’s plenty of seating available and put away as much clutter as you can.
It’s a good idea to play some neutral background music in the main space, like the kitchen or dining room. Avoid music with distracting lyrics or clashing instrumentals.
You may also want to put something neutral (like a football or basketball game) on the TV with the volume muted. This gives people something to do at the reception if they just want to take a moment to themselves.
7. Pay respect to the departed
You don’t have to decorate your home for the reception, but you may put out a few remembrances as an added touch.
Consider placing a few framed photos on an end table or the table where food is being served. You can also display the flowers and gifts that guests gave to the family as sympathy gifts.
Why Do We Have Funeral Receptions?
You might be wondering if holding a reception is completely necessary. Of course, you don’t have to host one if you don’t want to. For example, you might choose not to hold a reception if too few family members can make it or if you’re unfamiliar with many of the guests.
But do keep in mind that there are many good reasons to hold a funeral reception.
- Give funeral attendees a chance to comfort each other.
- Bring people together from all of the different parts of the deceased person’s life, from work friends to close family members.
- Give guests the opportunity to offer their condolences to the family and share sympathy gifts.
- Provide a time to celebrate the life of the departed, whereas a funeral might be more serious and formal in tone.
So even though planning or attending a funeral reception might take time and effort, most families find it worthwhile and uplifting.
Sources:
- "Coping With Grief - Life After Loss." NIH News in Health. National Institutes of Health, https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2017/10/coping-grief.
